An Evening with Phineas ACT I, Scene One

Act I, Scene One

AT RISE: PIERCE and PAULA, a married couple, are sitting in their living room. PAULA is holding a planner and writing in it, while PIERCE is on his smartphone playing a game.

Living room has a couch and chair, coffee table, a liquor cabinet, shelves with family pictures, magazines and books on the table.  A door to “outside” where people will enter and exit from. Stage Right will be the exit to the outside, Stage Left will be the exit to the other room. Kitchen needs a fridge, cabinets, it has a rectangular table, a desk with a computer.

PIERCE

Honey, I got “Genius” again on Spelling Bee. Boy, I must be a genius. That’s what the game tells me (sarcastic; laughs).

PAULA

(Facetiously) Oh, sure you are. A real genius.

PIERCE

Let’s go in the bedroom and screw.

PAULA

What? The kids are in the other room.

PIERCE

Boring! Come on, Paula, you are so dull. It’s the same thing every day.

PAULA

Speaking of that, can you take the garbage out?

PIERCE

(Stands up) What the hell, Paula? I just asked you to have sex with me, and you want me to take out the garbage? If that isn’t a metaphor for our marriage.

PAULA

Pierce, watch your language. The kids will hear you. And I’m sorry. I guess that was thoughtless of me.

PIERCE

That’s an understatement. Jesus, Paula. Something’s got to give. I mean, we’ve been together for twenty years. It’s turned into the same shit routine day after day. 

PAULA

(Annoyed) Pierce, what can I say? I work, take care of the kids, pay bills, and clean. I’m kind of tired, don’t you think?

PIERCE takes her in his arms; lovingly, PAULA leans into him.

PIERCE

I know, Paula. You need a break. I want to take you away from all of this.

PAULA

I can’t go anywhere right now, you know that. The taxes are due next week.

PIERCE

Paula! For God’s sake. Humor me a little. How about I pour you a drink (Walks to the cabinet)? Come on, just a little; it will help you relax. (Beat) Ha! We should get trashed like the old days. Remember that? We stayed up all night—

PAULA

I know, I know, no need to say it. Give me a break, Pierce, we aren’t 25 anymore. We have obligations; we have children!

PIERCE

And we aren’t 100, either. Come on, live wild.

Looking into her eyes, holding her hands.

Like you used to be. (Beat) You’re so dull these days.

PAULA

I know, I’m sorry. I’m just stressed out right now. Once I finish these damn taxes, I’ll feel more like myself, I promise.

PIERCE

But there’s always something. You need to let go of some of that worry. The tasks aren’t going anywhere; they’ll still be here tomorrow. You can leave it one day.

PAULA

That’s just the problem. It(emph.) will all be there tomorrow. Can’t you take the kids to their activities today so I can work on the taxes?

PIERCE

Paula, come on, when did it get like this? It’s like we wake up to the same broken record every day: ‘Take the garbage out’; ‘Can you go to the store?’; ‘Did you pick up the mail?’ I’m not in this world for mundane bullshit. (Urging) Come on, Paula, we’re in our forties; we aren’t dead. You’ve got to be spontaneous; live a little!

He grabs her and kisses her passionately; she pushes away from the embrace. She has tears in her eyes. She moves to the kitchen, and he follows her.

PAULA

Not now, Pierce. I’m sorry I disappoint you. I have laundry to do and dinner to prep; the kids have their games today. What time is it? (She looks at the time.) Shit, I have to get ready. I don’t have time for this right now, Pierce.

PIERCE

Damn, Paula. You are killing me. I feel like I am suffocating. 

PAULA

I know. I’m sorry. But I have to get the boys ready.

PIERCE comes up behind PAULA, trying to kiss her on the neck while she prepares sandwiches and snacks, putting them into a cooler bag. There’s a heaviness in the air; they love each other, but both feel sad and stuck.

PAULA

(Wiping a tear) Not now, Pierce. I’m sorry. I promise we can put the boys to bed and have a drink together as soon as I’m done with the taxes.

PIERCE

OK, OK, but there’s always something, Paula. You’re lucky to have me.

PAULA

I know. Thanks for understanding. I do love you. (Beat. Calls out) PATTEN! PAXTON!

ENTER PATTEN and PAXTON Stage Left, dressed for soccer.

PATTEN

Hey Mom, what did you pack to eat? 

PAULA

Ham and cheese for you.

PAXTON

(Whining) What about me? I hate cheese.

PAULA

Please don’t say hate. It’s a terrible word. I know you don’t like cheese, don’t worry. Come on, let’s go. Say bye to your dad.

PATTEN

Bye, Dad.

PAXTON

Bye, Daddy.

PAULA

Bye, Pierce. I love you. We’ll be back around 4:00. 

PIERCE

(Subdued) Yeah, have a good day, guys.

EXIT PATTEN, PAXTON, and PAULA Stage Left.

BLACKOUT

Synopsis: An Evening with Phineas delves into the complexities of long-term marriage, desire, and the allure of the unconventional. Pierce and Paula find their relationship stagnating in routine, leading Pierce to enlist the help of Phineas, a charismatic “Marriage Mentor” with unconventional methods. Phineas’s arrival disrupts their complacency, forcing Pierce and Paula to confront buried insecurities and deep-seated desires.

Through sharp dialogue and compelling character dynamics, An Evening with Phineas invites audiences to reflect on the complexities of love, the fragility of trust, and the pursuit of personal fulfillment.