I’m So Proud

I was so proud that I wasn’t embarrassed when I burped and skipped in public that I hugged myself and said, “I am enough.”
I’m so proud that I am enough that I wrote a self-help book.
I’m so proud I wrote a self-help book because it helped millions of people.
I’m so proud I helped millions of people that I started a mastermind.
I’m so proud I started a mastermind because now I know Tony Robbins.
I’m so proud I know Tony Robbins because it means I made it to the big time.
I’m so proud I made it to the big time because it means I was successful.

I’m so proud I’m successful because I came from nothing.
I’m so proud I came from nothing because the payoff to success is that much sweeter.
I’m so proud that the payoff is sweeter because it meant I could brag to Tony Robbins.
I’m so proud I could brag to Tony Robbins because it meant I was in an intimate conversation with him.

We were talking about strategies, and I told him I had the best strategies because I came from nothing.
He said he came from nothing too, and that his dad kicked him out of the house.
I told him that must have made him good at strategizing because he learned to be resourceful at a young age—much like me.
I had a mother who liked to play with asphyxiating her kids, and we must have lost brain cells.

So, the fact that I could strategize myself all the way to this mastermind with Tony Robbins is something to be proud of.
I’m so proud that I strategized my way into this mastermind with Tony Robbins because it meant I had charisma and people liked me.
I’m proud of people like me because I used to think I was worthless.
I’m so proud that I used to think I was worthless because there’s only one way up from there.
I’m so proud there’s only one way up from being worthless because it shows how far I’ve come.

I’m so proud of how far I’ve come because look at me now.
Tony Robbins said Richard Branson was on his way, and we could fly around on his jets.
He said he has new technology where planes can go straight up in the air, revolutionizing the airline industry.

Then Steve Jobs’ ghost came in the form of a hologram, and he said Apple was still better than Android.
But I pointed out that Google is a thousand times better than Siri.

I’m so proud I said that to Steve Jobs’ ghost because it meant I overcame my fear of ghosts.
I’m so proud I overcame my fear of ghosts because it meant I could have a frank conversation with Steve Jobs about how Siri needs to chill the fuck out because Google is running circles around her.
I’m so proud that Google is running circles around Siri because I just bought stock in Google.