The Dull Women’s Club

Welcome to The Dull Women’s Club, where the ordinary takes center stage. A short comedic scene that finds joy and camaraderie in life’s smallest details.

Setting: A meeting room in a church basement. There are mismatched chairs arranged in a circle and a small table off to the side, set up for snacks. Four women—Elsa, Mary, Beverly, and Francine—are seated in the circle. Each has a basket under her chair. The room has an old clock on the wall that ticks audibly, adding to the quiet absurdity of the atmosphere.

At Rise: The women are seated in the circle. Elsa sits upright with a notepad in hand, ready to lead the meeting. Mary adjusts her sweater, Beverly twirls her wedding ring absentmindedly, and Francine quietly looks at her basket. The air is calm, almost too calm.

ELSA
(Claps her hands once for attention.)
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to our weekly club! It’s good to see you. Thanks for coming. Let’s get started. We’ll go around in a circle.
(She looks at Mary with a warm, expectant smile.)
Mary, you go first. Tell us, what was the highlight of your week?

MARY
(Clears her throat, leans forward slightly, and clasps her hands in her lap.)
Thank you, Elsa. For me, Wednesday was my best day this week. I was able to organize my sock drawer.
(She lights up, her hands gesturing enthusiastically.)
I think it’s my favorite activity! There are so many ways to organize socks. In fact, this is my Wednesday ritual.

(The other women nod politely, leaning in slightly, as if this is riveting.)

This time, I organized by color. I’m not sure this is the most efficient way—unless you know all your socks by heart, but this I do know.
(Counts on her fingers dramatically.)
I have 13 pairs of pink socks! Some are pale pink, like a baby’s bottom.
(Pauses for comedic timing.)
Some are fuchsia—like a rashy baby’s bottom.
(Giggles at her own joke and waves her hand dismissively.)
Oh, me! I do crack myself up.

(The women chuckle politely. Elsa writes something down in her notebook.)

Oh, baby bottoms—they really do come in a range of colors, don’t they?
(Mary’s voice drifts into reflective thought before she snaps back to attention.)
Anyway, back to the socks. I arranged them by shade first. They come in all lengths and types, too! Some are ankle socks, some are compression—I never get dizzy wearing those fuckers!
(The women gasp lightly but smile, clearly amused by her outburst.)
Some are wool, because I do get cold toes come November. And some are patterned.
(Pauses dramatically.)
My favorite pink socks with a pattern are the ones with our Lord Jesus Christ’s face printed all over them. I always feel like I do more good deeds when I wear those socks.

ELSA
(Nods with approval and a kind smile.)
Thanks, Mary. It’s time to move on to Beverly.
(Turns to Beverly.)
Beverly, tell us about your most exciting experience this week.

BEVERLY
(Shifts in her seat, placing her hands neatly on her knees.)
Thank you, Elsa. Well, for me, it was this morning when I organized my fridge.
(Leans in conspiratorially.)
I like to organize my carrots by size. But the question is: is it by length or thickness?

(The women murmur in fascination, nodding as if this is a deep existential question.)

I really do get flustered.
(Glances around the room for empathy.)
So I asked Google Voice to pick for me. Today, it said length!
(Sits back triumphantly.)
I have to say, in the future, I might separate my carrots into two groupings because thick carrots and slim ones don’t seem to marry well.

ELSA
(Leaning forward with genuine interest.)
Thank you, Beverly. That’s fascinating.
(Turns to Francine.)
Now, Francine, tell us about your exciting week.

FRANCINE
(Straightens her posture, her hands smoothing her skirt nervously.)
Yes, well, I cleaned the grout in between each tile.
(Pauses for effect.)
I counted 500 tiles! It took me all day. Heavens!

(The women gasp in admiration. Elsa claps softly, her face lighting up with delight.)

ELSA
(Warmly.)
Wonderful. Thank you, Francine.
(Glances at her watch.)
Now it’s time for snacks. Let’s pull out our baskets and put them on the share table. I wonder what tasty treats we have today!

(The women cheerfully reach under their chairs, pulling out their baskets. They carry their carefully packed snacks to the table and arrange them neatly—peanut butter crackers, cheese sticks, skinny carrots, and buttermilk biscuits. The women exchange pleased glances as they settle back in their seats.)

(They nibble their snacks in contented silence, occasionally murmuring words of praise like “delightful” or “so crunchy.” The old clock ticks loudly in the background, adding an oddly solemn rhythm to the lighthearted scene.)

(Lights slowly dim as the women continue to enjoy their mundane, blissful moment together.)

BLACKOUT