What’s My Name?

What’s My Name?

by | Dec 16, 2024 | Playwriting

What’s My Name?

CHARACTERS:

Man: A 62-year-old man, dressed in a slightly rumpled suit, carrying a briefcase.

Agent: A clerk at a government office, efficient and friendly.

SETTING: A sterile, brightly lit office with a counter and a few chairs.

AT RISE: Man approaches the counter nervously. Agent looks up with a smile.

Man: Hi.

Agent: Hi, what’s your name?

Man: I’m Werjhbfkudvnjd

Man attempts to pronounce the name, but it’s a jumbled mess. Agent raises an eyebrow, trying to keep a straight face.

Agent: That’s quite a name.

Man: That’s why I’m here. I need a revision.

Agent: No, you don’t. You just need a name change.

Man: I can do that?

Agent: Of course, as long as you’re over 18, and I’m sure you are.

Man: Yes, I’m 62. I thought I needed to revise my entire life, and I thought that might take too long. It is quite a relief that I can just change my name.

Agent: That would definitely take a long time.

Man: This is such a relief. I can’t tell you how much trouble my name has given me.

Agent: I can imagine—it’s lacking vowels.

Man: Yes, people didn’t know what to call me growing up. I got teased a lot.

Agent: I can imagine. But how did you get a name like that?

Man: I was told that the clerk had narcolepsy and they fell asleep while typing my birth certificate.

Agent: Surely your parents could have amended it.

Man: Surely they could have, but they didn’t. They thought it was quirky. But I’m a patent inspector. I’m not quirky. It’s made it hard for me to get jobs. But I finally figured out that I could use a cover letter so that I could explain my name. That’s how I got my job.

Agent: But what did people call you?

Man: Werjhbfkudvnjd

Agent: Didn’t you have a nickname?

Man: I never thought about it. What could be a nickname for Werj—

Agent: (Interrupting) I get it, I get it. Okay. So what do you have in mind?

Man: I can pick any name?

Agent: Sure, it’s your name.

Man: Wow. Okay. I’d like to name myself… Oh, this is so exciting… Normal.

Agent looks confused.

Agent: Do you mean Norman?

Man: No! Normal. That’s my name. I love it. Thanks for your help!

Man beams and exits, leaving Agent shaking their head in amusement.

BLACKOUT

The Dull Women’s Club

The Dull Women’s Club

by | Dec 8, 2024 | Playwriting

The Dull Women’s Club

Welcome to The Dull Women’s Club, where the ordinary takes center stage. A short comedic scene that finds joy and camaraderie in life’s smallest details.

Setting: A meeting room in a church basement. There are mismatched chairs arranged in a circle and a small table off to the side, set up for snacks. Four women—Elsa, Mary, Beverly, and Francine—are seated in the circle. Each has a basket under her chair. The room has an old clock on the wall that ticks audibly, adding to the quiet absurdity of the atmosphere.

At Rise: The women are seated in the circle. Elsa sits upright with a notepad in hand, ready to lead the meeting. Mary adjusts her sweater, Beverly twirls her wedding ring absentmindedly, and Francine quietly looks at her basket. The air is calm, almost too calm.

ELSA
(Claps her hands once for attention.)
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to our weekly club! It’s good to see you. Thanks for coming. Let’s get started. We’ll go around in a circle.
(She looks at Mary with a warm, expectant smile.)
Mary, you go first. Tell us, what was the highlight of your week?

MARY
(Clears her throat, leans forward slightly, and clasps her hands in her lap.)
Thank you, Elsa. For me, Wednesday was my best day this week. I was able to organize my sock drawer.
(She lights up, her hands gesturing enthusiastically.)
I think it’s my favorite activity! There are so many ways to organize socks. In fact, this is my Wednesday ritual.

(The other women nod politely, leaning in slightly, as if this is riveting.)

This time, I organized by color. I’m not sure this is the most efficient way—unless you know all your socks by heart, but this I do know.
(Counts on her fingers dramatically.)
I have 13 pairs of pink socks! Some are pale pink, like a baby’s bottom.
(Pauses for comedic timing.)
Some are fuchsia—like a rashy baby’s bottom.
(Giggles at her own joke and waves her hand dismissively.)
Oh, me! I do crack myself up.

(The women chuckle politely. Elsa writes something down in her notebook.)

Oh, baby bottoms—they really do come in a range of colors, don’t they?
(Mary’s voice drifts into reflective thought before she snaps back to attention.)
Anyway, back to the socks. I arranged them by shade first. They come in all lengths and types, too! Some are ankle socks, some are compression—I never get dizzy wearing those fuckers!
(The women gasp lightly but smile, clearly amused by her outburst.)
Some are wool, because I do get cold toes come November. And some are patterned.
(Pauses dramatically.)
My favorite pink socks with a pattern are the ones with our Lord Jesus Christ’s face printed all over them. I always feel like I do more good deeds when I wear those socks.

ELSA
(Nods with approval and a kind smile.)
Thanks, Mary. It’s time to move on to Beverly.
(Turns to Beverly.)
Beverly, tell us about your most exciting experience this week.

BEVERLY
(Shifts in her seat, placing her hands neatly on her knees.)
Thank you, Elsa. Well, for me, it was this morning when I organized my fridge.
(Leans in conspiratorially.)
I like to organize my carrots by size. But the question is: is it by length or thickness?

(The women murmur in fascination, nodding as if this is a deep existential question.)

I really do get flustered.
(Glances around the room for empathy.)
So I asked Google Voice to pick for me. Today, it said length!
(Sits back triumphantly.)
I have to say, in the future, I might separate my carrots into two groupings because thick carrots and slim ones don’t seem to marry well.

ELSA
(Leaning forward with genuine interest.)
Thank you, Beverly. That’s fascinating.
(Turns to Francine.)
Now, Francine, tell us about your exciting week.

FRANCINE
(Straightens her posture, her hands smoothing her skirt nervously.)
Yes, well, I cleaned the grout in between each tile.
(Pauses for effect.)
I counted 500 tiles! It took me all day. Heavens!

(The women gasp in admiration. Elsa claps softly, her face lighting up with delight.)

ELSA
(Warmly.)
Wonderful. Thank you, Francine.
(Glances at her watch.)
Now it’s time for snacks. Let’s pull out our baskets and put them on the share table. I wonder what tasty treats we have today!

(The women cheerfully reach under their chairs, pulling out their baskets. They carry their carefully packed snacks to the table and arrange them neatly—peanut butter crackers, cheese sticks, skinny carrots, and buttermilk biscuits. The women exchange pleased glances as they settle back in their seats.)

(They nibble their snacks in contented silence, occasionally murmuring words of praise like “delightful” or “so crunchy.” The old clock ticks loudly in the background, adding an oddly solemn rhythm to the lighthearted scene.)

(Lights slowly dim as the women continue to enjoy their mundane, blissful moment together.)

BLACKOUT



Mullet Town

Mullet Town

by | Nov 9, 2024 | Playwriting

A One-Act Play

CAST OF CHARACTERS

AMBER- Early twenties. She is a young, hip artist. Wears stylish, trendy clothes. Hair: shoulder length (one length).

ANNIE- Mid-forties; plain woman, friendly. Wears plaid flannel shirts tucked in with brown slacks. Hair:  Mullet.

VIC- Mid-forties; confident and cocky. Wears cheap suits and skinny ties. Hair: Mullet.

JIMMY- Mid-forties; tries too hard. Wears well-worn wrinkled shirts with ill-fitting black dress pants. Hair: Mullet.

EXTRAS- Mid-forties. Varied office attire. Hair: Mullets.

SETTING:  Four desks and chairs are set up in a minimal-looking office.

TIME: The year is 2008. Despite the turn of the millennium, this office and its workers remain a tribute to the past.

ACT I, Scene One

AT RISE: ANNIE, JIMMY and EXTRAS are sitting at desks.  THEY all have MULLETS.

 

AMBER walks onto stage as she steps through the door for the first time. She gawks at everyone’s hair. 

ANNIE  

(Rises from her desk) You must be Amber. Joan from Staffed To Be Sure called and said you were on your way. (Extends hand) I’m Annie. You’ll be filling in as an assistant. 

AMBER

(Doubtfully) Well, I’m not sure how long I’ll be here. (Looks around at everyone, noting hairstyles and grimacing). Probably just today.

ANNIE

(Assuredly) Oh, the first day is always nerve-wracking.  You’ll be fine. Joan tells me you’re an artist. You can really help us get some culture in here.

AMBER

(Meekly) Yes, I’m sure you’re right.

ANNIE

Everyone, this is Amber. She’s filling in for Karen while she’s on maternity leave.

Greetings from ALL

AMBER

 (Tries to be friendly, forces a contorted smile) Hi Everyone.

ANNIE

You can take Karen’s desk right here (gestures to the desk next to JIMMY). Lucky us, we’re deskmates (jovially).

 

AMBER

 (Abashed) Great. 

AMBER slips into her chair and slips her bag under the desk. She has a look of discontent on her face.

JIMMY

(Turning to AMBER, tries to come across as suave) Wow, it’s great to meet you (looks her up and down). Do you, ah, live around here? Are you, ah, new in town?

AMBER

(Recoils) Yes, I’m new.

She starts fussing with items on the desk, avoiding his conversation.

JIMMY

(Still looking at AMBER) It’s just that I haven’t seen you around town. You ever go shopping, or to the park? Pretty girl like you must have a busy life, you single?

AMBER

(Restrained) Hmmm, well I’d rather stick to my work than talk about my personal life. (As in shut up) No offense.

AMBER looks around to see if she notices anyone with a regular haircut. She returns her attention to her desk and avoids looking at JIMMY’S face.

JIMMY

 (Sits back, gestures hands out to show it’s no big deal) Hey, no offense taken here, we can be office buds. (HE turns back to face his desk.)

AMBER

 (Outwardly disdainful) Great. (Turns to ANNIE) So, what can I start on?

ANNIE

Ah, yes, let’s get these inputs into the computer.

She stands up with a stack of papers, then fiddles with AMBER’S computer. 

ENTER VIC. He walks in and stops when he notices AMBER.

VIC

 (Cheesy smile) Oh, now, Annie, you didn’t tell me we hired a sweet little lady.

ANNIE

(Smiling) Good morning, Vic; this is Amber. She’s filling in for Karen.

VIC

 (Still smiling at AMBER, gestures a pregnant belly.) Yeah, that’s Karen. She’s good at making babies. What is that,  five or six now?

AMBER

 (With disgust) I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.

JIMMY

(Turns to VIC) Vic, this is a real feisty one. She doesn’t want to make friends with us oldies. Just look at her with her stylish hair and clothes.

AMBER

 (Defensively) I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot here; I only want to do a good job on my first day.

VIC

 (Sits on the edge of AMBER’S desk and leans in toward her.) Don’t you worry honey; I’m sure you’ll do fine.

ANNIE

(Slightly stern) Vic, get to work and leave her alone. She’s only just walked in the door; give her a break already. 

VIC

 (Playfully) Oh, Annie, you’re always on my back.

ANNIE

 (Playing back) That’s enough, Vic. To your desk (she points to the back desk).

VIC

(To ANNIE) Okay, okay. (To JIMMY, intimately) Hey Jimmy, guess who I ran into on Saturday night?

JIMMY

(Juicing) Oh yeah, who’s that?

VIC

(Walks over to JIMMY’s desk) Monica. I was out cruisin’ in my Trans Am when I saw her. Man, she looked hot. She still has that gorgeous long blond feathered hair and legs up to her neck. (Shaking his head in loving disbelief) Yeah, so we went into Cliff’s Hangout, bada bing bada bam.

JIMMY

(Laughing) Vic, you’re too much. You really know how to find a good time.

AMBER looks horrified at the interaction between the two men.

ANNIE

Now, Boys, get back to work. You’ll scare the new girl (she looks at AMBER she smiles).

AMBER feigns a smile back. VIC sits at his desk. ALL put their heads down to work.

Beat

ANNIE

 (Standing) It looks like it’s lunchtime, Amber. Come, join me. I’ll introduce you around.

AMBER

Thanks, Annie.

 AMBER stands and grabs her bag. ALL walk offstage single file.

BLACKOUT

ACT I, Scene Two

ENTER ANNIE and AMBER: They walk on stage, with the front lights on, as if walking down a hallway.

ANNIE

How do you like it here so far, Amber? Any questions? Is Vic a bit intense for you?

AMBER

I guess so. He does seem a little oblivious.

ANNIE

(Laughs) Ha! Yes, well, Vic can be a bit oblivious. He was (uses quotation mark hands) “The Cool Guy” back in high school. All the girls loved him. I guess he never grew out of that. He’s harmless though, once you get to know him. Underneath it all he’s a big puppy dog.

AMBER

Are you guys all related?

ANNIE

That’s a funny question, why do you ask that?

AMBER

Well, you look similar. I can see a resemblance.

ANNIE

Oh, well, I guess if you work with someone long enough, you can start to blend in together.

AMBER

 How long have you all known each other?

ANNIE

Oh, the boys and me, we go way back. Farmingdale High, class of eighty-four. (Shaking her head) They haven’t changed a bit.

AMBER

Yes, I can see that. (Looks at ANNIE’S hair). Do you guys ever get out of town, or you’ve stayed here your whole lives?

ANNIE

(Proudly) Been here my whole life. How ‘bout you, what’s your story?

AMBER

My parents bought a house over on Elm Street. They wanted a quieter life. My mother said Manhattan was suffocating her so, they moved out here. She wants to concentrate on her painting. Then, when I graduated from college last year, I moved back home to be with them. They want me to apply to graduate school. So, I’m doing that while trying to get my art portfolio together. I figured working through the temp agency would make me some money while I’m here. 

ANNIE

Wow,  sounds like you’ve had an exciting life so far.

AMBER

Well, I just want to get my career started. I’ve been working with a gallery owner at night. He says he can help. I hope so. I’ll be leaving here as soon as I can. I just need a break, for someone to discover me.

ANNIE

Well, I hope not too soon. We’re just getting to know ya.

BLACKOUT

ACT I, Scene 3

TIME: One month later.

AT RISE: Everyone is sitting at their desks.

AMBER has become accustomed to everyone’s style. Although, she is still embarrassed about where she works. She rushes into the office, everyone is already at their seats.

ANNIE

 (Curiously) You’re late?

AMBER

(Apologetically) Sorry about that, I was up late last night working on an installment piece for the gallery.

ANNIE

(Excited) Busy girl, I can’t wait to see it. When’s the opening? Are you having a party?

AMBER

(Flustered) Oh, well, I’m not sure there will be a party. And if there were one, I’m sure you’re much too busy. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to go anyway…

ANNIE

(Winking) Nonsense, never too busy for a friend.

AMBER

(Appreciative) Gee, thanks. 

 ANNIE

(Earnestly) Amber, I’d like to talk to you about something. And I ‘d really like you to consider it. We’d really like you to join us here full time, honey. You’re doing a great job and I think you really fit in here nicely.

AMBER

Thank you for saying that, Annie; I really do appreciate it, but I’m really concentrating on getting my art career started.

ANNIE

Well, that certainly is understandable, but it’s very hard, honey. You could do this job as a base for yourself. So you don’t get too lost—

AMBER

I’d be worried if I had a full-time office job…here… that I would lose my artistic style and vision.

ANNIE

Well, please just consider it. The offer is there.

AMBER

Okay, thanks, Annie.

VIC

(Gets up and walks over to AMBER’S desk) Hey baby, when are you going out on a date with me?

AMBER

(Flatly, without humor) In your dreams, Vic. And it’s Amber; I’m not your baby.

VIC

Hey, I went by your gallery last night, so I went in looking for you.

AMBER

(Astonished, with underlying suspicion) You did not. You actually asked for me?

VIC

(Dismissive) Of course, I did. Some guy with some frilly name said you’d already left. And I have to say, they call that art? I could make that stuff in my garage.

AMBER

Ugh. You don’t understand art at all. You didn’t say anything did you?

VIC

Why, do I embarrass you around your “art friends?” I have a right to my own opinion and the stuff in there was pure junk. I’m telling you, I could’ve done better in high school shop class.

AMBER

It’s called sculpture, and Serge is an acclaimed artist. I really hope you didn’t get into it with him.

 VIC

Well, it’s not my style anyway. That guy is full of crap with his tight sweaters and skinny pants. And what kind of hair was that?

AMBER

(Piqued) Serge’s hair? Vic, the eighties, called; they said they wanted their hairstyle back.

VIC

 (Goading) It looks like you’re the odd one out here. When are you going to cut your hair?

AMBER

Ewww, and when are you going to get rid of that car?

VIC

 (Laughing) Oh, Amber, you’re a funny one. I’ll see you later (He walks to his desk).

ANNIE

(Fetching) You and Vic have gotten chummy.

AMBER

(Shrugging, a touch dismissive) Yeah, whatever. He’s still a bit much with that mullet. (Grimacing, she puts her hand over her mouth, looking at ANNIE’s hair.) Oh, sorry, Annie.

ANNIE

Mullet? What’s that? You mean our hairstyles?

AMBER

Annie, have you ever noticed when you’re out, say, at a store in another town or at the mall?

ANNIE

Oh, no, I never go to the mall, too expensive.

AMBER

But don’t you see that you guys have hair, unlike anyone else? I mean, what are the chances of everyone working here having the same hair?

ANNIE

Really? My hair? I love my hair. It’s so easy to maintain, it’s long and flowing in the back, yet it never gets in my way. Look at you. You’re always fussing with your hair, don’t get me wrong, you look very pretty. Heh, I mean, I can see why Vic likes you.

AMBER

Oh, never mind the hair. I apologize if I offended you.

ANNIE

Is that why you never want to go out with us?

AMBER

Oh god Annie, is that what you think? Of course not, Annie, you know how busy I’ve been with the gallery. I don’t have time to hang out with anyone.

ANNIE

Yes, but you don’t want any of us coming there. Oh, I am sorry that we embarrass you.

AMBER

No, I’m sorry, you guys are good people. I have nothing against you. Hey, I know. How about I introduce you to my hairstylist, Annie? We’ll have a girl’s night out. We can get our hair and nails done, put on some fancy clothes, and go out for a drink. You’ll love it, Annie, really. Can we forget my slip of the tongue?

ANNIE

Oh honey, you’re sweet. That sounds like fun, but I don’t think I’m ready to change my hair. I really do love it. I never really noticed my hair was different. 

AMBER

Yes, but Annie, just think about it: if I helped you with a makeover, You might get some hits on your online dating service. You’re such a sweet person. You just need a bit of help updating your image.

ANNIE

We’ll have to see about that. 

BLACKOUT

ACT I, Scene 4

AT RISE: AMBER alone on stage, spotlight on her. The background is dark.

AMBER

I feel so bad about what I said to Annie. How can I be so shallow? But, I can’t believe I’m still here, I thought for sure it would be just one day. I pleaded with the agency to move me somewhere else… I mean really, this atmosphere is awful. What is wrong with these people? Can’t anyone talk some sense into them? How could I find an office filled with mullets? The ugliest hairstyle of all times. You wouldn’t believe it if I wrote it in a story. And they make me (pointing inward) feel like the odd one out!

 (Emphatically) I am not the strange one here. I will not be brought down to their acid washed level. 

(Yelling offstage to wings) C’mon people get a grip! There’s a whole world out there! A whole world that… that doesn’t have a mullet!

(Quiet again) I mean- they’re good people and all. But, I could never hang out in public with them looking like that. It’s as if they’re in a time warp circa 1982.

ENTER ANNIE, JIMMY, VIC and EXTRAS, in a trance-like manner, all carrying scissors in their hands. AMBER stops talking to look at THEM coming. 

ALL (but AMBER)

(Chanting) Mullet, Mullet, Mullet.

AMBER

(Looking around, confused) No!

THEY come at her, chopping their scissors. She falls to the ground as they stand over her. 

ALL (except AMBER)

(Chanting) Mullet, Mullet, Mullet.

AMBER

 (Screams) No! You can’t make me do it. I won’t, no!

Beat

THEY walk away from AMBER, still trance-like. SHE’S curled up in a ball on the floor, whimpering. She stands up with scissors in her hand, feeling her hair.

AMBER

(Looking at scissors) No! No! Is there a mirror anywhere?

She runs to center stage and uses the audience as a mirror.

AMBER

A mullet? On me? Oh, what has happened to me? Is this a terrible dream? When did I become one of them? I never meant to let it happen! Did I do this? Why do I have scissors in my hand? I’ve got to get out of this job- they’re turning me. I never wanted to lose my sense of self; it was only supposed to be temporary! I don’t want to be one of them! (Looking intently in the “mirror,” she starts preening herself.) Why it’s, it’s… so comfortable, so free. Why, I don’t mind it at all. In fact, if I just throw a pin in it, I think I can get away with it. It really doesn’t look too bad. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I like it; it feels good. (Justifying) I can still be hip. Maybe I’ll even set a new trend with my friends. I haven’t lost my mind have I? Just wait until they all see in the morning.

BLACKOUT

ACT I, Scene 5

Time: The following day-Morning.

ENTER AMBER. She walks into the office sporting her new mullet. EVERYONE is sitting at desks. She looks around as EVERYONE has had a new haircut without mullets.

AMBER

Hi, every-—no! What’s going on?

ANNIE

 (Looks up, noticing AMBER’S hair) Hi Amber, why look, you got your haircut.

AMBER

(Pointing at each) And so have you, Jimmy, Vic, Bob, and Suzanne. How can this be?

ANNIE

Amber, we have to keep up with the times, don’t we? That is, if we’re going to hang with a hip youngster like you.

AMBER

I just didn’t realize I had such an impact on you guys. I mean, you’ve all been working together for twenty years, and you never changed before.

ANNIE

Honey, your opinion is important to us. Hey, did they set a date for your exhibit?

AMBER

(Deflated) No, It was canceled. Serge said something about not having enough funding or interest, or something. I guess he doesn’t think I’m ready.

ANNIE

I’m sorry, honey; I know how much it meant to you. If you keep working at it, you’ll get there soon enough.

VIC

(Looks up from his desk, smiling) Hey AMBER, nice hair, wow! I never thought we’d convert you.

AMBER

(Still in shock) But, your hair is short; you cut off your mullet.

VIC

Yeah, well, I was tired of you riding me about it, so, uh, after work last night, we all decided to cut them all off. I tell ya, I can’t believe I didn’t do this a long time ago. It feels strange, but it feels good—no more long hair scratching at my neck.

AMBER scrambles in her bag, looking for hair clips. SHE frantically starts putting her hair up and back so it no longer looks like a mullet.

VIC

 So, now that I cut my hair, will you go out with me?

AMBER

 (Feeling better with her hair up) Yeah, right, Vic, just look at the way you dress.

END Of PLAY

 

young woman with a mullet hairstyle with a white brick background

Author’s Note: “Mullet Town” was inspired by my own experience of culture shock after moving from London to western Massachusetts. When I took a temp job at a large office, I was shocked to discover that mullets—a hairstyle I thought had been left in the 1980s—were alive and thriving among my new coworkers. This piece playfully captures that bewildering moment when time seems frozen and you realize that some trends refuse to die, no matter how much the world changes.

Under the Full Moon

Under the Full Moon

by | Nov 9, 2024 | Playwriting

Under the Full Moon

Act I, Scene One

SET: A living room adorned with new-age details.

AT RISE: WENDY and LUCY sit on floor cushions with cups of tea.

LUCY 

(Smiling serenely, she takes a sip of tea) I manifested it all, Wendy: the dream job, money, inner peace.

WENDY 

(Doubtfully, shrugging or shaking her head.) Wow, Lucy, I wouldn’t even know where to start. I could never do any of that.

LUCY 

(Reaching her hand across the table and placing it on WENDY’s)

Don’t be silly, Wendy. It takes practice, determination, and ritual.

WENDY

(Evoking fear or skepticism of the word ritual) Ritual? What do you mean?

LUCY 

(Gesturing, confident) Well, you can do a daily ritual of a little prayer or meditation and making a mantra. (LUCY takes a sip of herbal tea, her bracelets jingle.)

WENDY 

(Liking the idea of a mantra) Ha, a mantra, I could do that!

LUCY 

(Leans in conspiratorially) But, if you really want some monumental shifts, then you should come to one of the full moon rituals we have in the Metanoia woods.

WENDY 

(WENDY reacts with fear and curiosity.) Woods? At night? Are you kidding me? No way!

LUCY 

(Laugh genuinely at WENDY’s fears, but with a hint of understanding.) You don’t like the woods? They’re full of magic.

WENDY 

That’s what I’m afraid of.

LUCY

You’re afraid of magic?

WENDY 

The woods are full of bears, coyotes, and strangers with bad intentions.

LUCY 

(Laughs again and takes a deep breath.) Oh, Wendy you are overwrought with fears. The animals won’t harm you; the magic protects you. Here (placing the crystal in WENDY’s hand), take this crystal and put it underneath your pillow at night. Better yet, put it outside at night and have it cleansed by the moon.

WENDY 

(Beat. Examining the crystal, skeptical of its power.) A crystal’s going to help me? (Beat) Do they help you?

LUCY 

(Reassuringly) Of course, all the time. They all have different meanings.

WENDY 

(Curious, skeptical) Is that how you stay so calm?

LUCY 

(Laughs, all knowingly) It’s taken a long time. I’ve worked hard through ritual, meditation, and Qigong (chi gong). I used to be a bundle of nerves like you.

WENDY 

(Paranoid, Self-consciously) Why? Do I come across like that? (Beat) I just thought I was extra cautious. Maybe I could use a little help.

LUCY 

(Eagerly and excitedly, she can’t wait to introduce WENDY to the next level.) 

Wendy, you have to come to the next full moon ritual—it’s tomorrow night! We are celebrating the Mourning Moon. (Beat) See? The Universe is leading you there. You’ll meet me at the parking lot on the corner of Hope and Fear Streets at 11:00. It will take us 20 minutes to hike through the woods to the ritual spot. Bring a light source— and an extra layer of clothing, although there will be a bonfire, and most importantly, bring something to (emph.) cleanse your thirst.

WENDY 

Late at night? Deep into the woods? What if something happens? Who will hear our screams?

LUCY 

Oh, Wendy, we’ll be fine. I’ve been leading these ceremonies for years. Nobody has ever been harmed (she reaches her hand out reassuringly). Here, I’ll do some Reiki on you right now.

(She raises her arms up.)

WENDY 

(Gesturing LUCY to stop Reiki) No, thank you, Lucy. I actually like my anxiety. It keeps me alert and aware of any danger. If I relax, I won’t be prepared. I could be taken by surprise.

LUCY 

I understand. That’s who you are. It’s in the stars. I’m not trying to change you. I’m just trying to help you.

WENDY 

Thanks. So, not that I’m going, but what are these full moon rituals like, anyway? 

LUCY 

I’m so glad you asked! There’s singing, dancing, the moon’s energy washing over us… It’s pure magic, Wendy.

WENDY 

I don’t know, Lucy… It sounds amazing, but what if something happens?

LUCY 

Don’t worry, Wendy, I will help you. Meet me tomorrow night. Don’t be late!

WENDY 

(Beat, thinking about it, then) OK, I will be there.

BLACKOUT

 

ACT I, SCENE TWO

SET: A parking lot on the edge of the woods. Street signs say Hope and Fear.

AT RISE: WENDY enters the scene with exaggerated caution, scanning her surroundings. She stands in the parking lot, her eyes wide with apprehension. She clutches her backpack, which bulges with supplies. She checks her watch nervously.

A WOLF emerges from the shadows, its movements deliberate and silent. It stops a few feet away from Wendy, its yellow eyes fixed on her.

WOLF  

What’s in the bag? 

(Its voice is low and resonant, vibrating through WENDY’s bones. It examines the bulging backpack. LUCY whirls around, heart pounding. Gasping, she fumbles for her knife in her backpack, but her hands are shaking too badly to grip it.)

WENDY

 Who…who…who are you? Stay back!

WOLF 

(Circling her slowly, keeping its gaze on her.)

You know, if I wanted to attack you, you wouldn’t be able to pull that knife off your pack. My sharp teeth would sink into you before you blink. (Beat. Generously) Of course, I only want to help you. What are you doing in the woods so late, under the Mourning Moon? 

WENDY

(Voice trembling) I…I…I came to meet my friend. We’re…we’re…we’re going to a ritual.

WOLF 

(The WOLF  stops circling her and tilts its head slightly.) A ritual?

WENDY 

(Her fear mingles with a strange sense of curiosity).  Um, yes. 

WOLF 

A ritual of change. Of transformation. Of shedding the old skin and embracing the new.

WENDY 

How did you know that?

WOLF 

The Metanoia Woods whisper their secrets to those who listen. They know your fears, your doubts, your deepest desires.

WENDY 

(Tears well up in her eyes) Uh…I’m not going in there! I’m not ready for that. I’m scared.

WOLF

(Nudges her gently with its snout.) The only way out is through. Embrace the fear, Wendy. Let it guide you to your true self.

WENDY 

How did you know my name? 

WOLF

(Deflecting) What’s in the bag?

WENDY 

(Proudly) A can of beans, trail mix, a charcoal water filter, toilet paper, batteries, a blanket, a first aid kit, and my cell phone.

 

WOLF 

(Impressed) You sound prepared.

 

WENDY 

(Relaxing her posture and tone.) I am always prepared. You can never be too careful. Admittedly, I don’t actually know what I could do to protect myself from a wolf attack. Honestly, I didn’t think it would really happen around here. 

 

WOLF

(With a sly grin) Don’t worry, I won’t bite you.

 

WENDY

 (Skeptical, brave, but still guarded.) That hardly helps me feel safe. You could be tricking me. I’ve read the stories. What kind of wolf are you? (Beat) Oh, I forgot. I have a garlic bulb in my bag, too. (Beat) And a gun with a silver bullet.

 

WOLF

 (Guiding, teaching)  First, garlic is for vampires, and I’m not a werewolf.

 

WENDY 

How do I know? You’re talking, after all.

 

WOLF 

Ah, that’s true. I guess you wouldn’t know. (Beat, curiously) Show me your gun.

 

WENDY 

Uh…I only pull it out on special occasions. Like, when I come to the woods late at night…with a full moon…and a wolf shows up. I might be about to make this a special occasion.

 

WOLF 

Ah, yes, a full moon is always special. (Laughing) It’s true, the moon does rile me up.. It’s the Mourning moon tonight, the last full moon before the winter solstice.

 

WENDY 

(She reaches her hand behind her toward her bag.)How do you know the solstice?

 

WOLF 

All animals know about the solstices and the changing seasons. Food will be scarce soon. It’s time to fatten up. (He licks his chops.)

 

WENDY 

(She takes two steps back slowly, finally grasping the knife.)  

That sounds like a threat.

 

WOLF 

(Introspectively) No, I’m just a little lonely. I lost my wolfpack a while ago. They said I was too much a free thinker and a dreamer. I hated them always telling me what to do, where to go, what to kill. You know, those little bunnies are cute. I mean, I always ate them, but I just liked watching them first. Those wolves were on a kill-and-go schedule. It was too efficient for me.

 

WENDY 

(Sadly) Poor bunnies.

WOLF 

So, now I hunt on my own schedule. A wolf’s got to eat after all. And I wander the woods, resting on the river’s edge watching, taking the world in. I’ve done a lot of self-discovery at the edge of the river. I’ve pondered the earth, moon, and stars. You know, the stars have conflict just like we do here.

WENDY 

I don’t know much about stars, but I like looking at them.

WOLF 

There’s a field in the woods where I stare at the sky. I fall asleep watching them.

WENDY 

That sounds nice.

WOLF 

(Pointing to Mars with a sense of shared wonder.) Look, you can see Mars just left of the moon.

WENDY 

(Express a mix of awe and wonder when looking at Mars) Whoa, that’s cool.

(She puts her backpack down.)

WOLF 

It’s a rare occurrence.

WENDY 

(Confide in WOLF with a sense of vulnerability.) I always wondered if I should spend more time with the stars. I get so caught up in the day-to-day. Worrying about this, fretting about that. Stuck in a job I hate. Worrying, none of my friends actually like me. I need a new beginning. That’s why I came here tonight. I don’t know if I believe in this stuff but my friend Lucy swears by it.

WOLF 

A full moon is more about endings than new beginnings. It is a time to let go. What can you let go of?

WENDY 

(Confessing) Ha! I have a laundry list of things to let go of.

WOLF 

(WOLF’s tail flicks and it smiles earnestly)

Then let go, and start a new path. Once you follow your true path, your issues will melt away. You can start big or small. I guess it depends on how strong you feel.

WENDY 

(Bemused) Strong is not an attribute I use for myself.

WOLF 

I can help you. You can visit me anytime.

I—

(Suddenly WOLF stops talking and quickly moves into the shadows as LUCY enters the parking lot interrupting the conversation.)

WENDY 

(Toward WOLF) Wait! We weren’t finished!

LUCY 

Weren’t finished with what?

(She looks around, wondering what WENDY is talking about.)

WENDY

 (Quietly to herself) How will I find him?

LUCY 

Who? What are you talking about, Wendy? Are you talking to someone?

(She looks back and forth between WENDY and the empty space where the WOLF was, feigning confusion and suspicion.)

WENDY  

(Looking all around.) Where did he go? 

LUCY 

Who? Who are you talking about? Wendy, you seem different. What did I miss?

WENDY 

(Focusing back on LUCY, but still looking around) Oh nothing. Nothing, it’s nothing.

LUCY 

(Expressing excitement about the ritual, trying to refocus Wendy’s attention.) 

OK, if you say so. Anyway, I am SOOOO glad you’re here. This night is going to be full of magic. I can just sense it’s going to be a new start for you.

WENDY 

(Eager to find WOLF) I’m actually excited. Hurry, let’s go in.

LUCY 

(Happily surprised) Good! Then this promises to be a good night. Let’s get going.

BLACKOUT

END OF PLAY

Author’s Note: This ten-minute play invites the audience to ponder the thin line between fear and transformation, drawing from Wendy’s unexpected encounter under the mystical Mourning Moon. The piece hints at a larger world of rituals, personal discovery, and the unknown, leaving it open for interpretation or future exploration.