This experimental triptych presents three short stories intertwined through variations of the same core sentences. Each tale shifts in tone and perspective, weaving together humor, competition, and absurd drama while remaining anchored by shared pivotal moments.

Story One

Trixie climbed to the top of the dome and screamed, “I found the key!” Jan and Bill cheered; now they would be able to get into the storage room to get the tools they needed. Susan was mad. She didn’t want Jan and Bill to compete; she knew it would be a bad idea. Still, Trixie climbed down from the top of the dome, walked over to Jan and Bill, and said, “Good luck. May the best person win. And whoever wins gets to take me to bed.”

Jan and Bill looked at each other and smirked. Jan licked her lips, and Bill tapped his feet in a little dance. Suddenly, Susan squirted Sam’s hot dog with red, juicy ketchup. Sam looked at Susan, astonished at her audacity.

“What are you doing, Susan? I always put the relish on first, then the onions, then the mustard, and then the ketchup!”

Susan blushed. “Sorry, Sam. I got a little excited once I realized we are going to do this thing. I haven’t had such an exciting event since the last time Dick Clark did the New Year’s countdown.”

Everyone walked over to the racetrack, and Jan and Bill ran through the finish line at the exact same time. It made history, and everyone would talk about it for years.

Story Two

Jan and Bill ran through the finish line at the exact same time. It made history, and everyone would talk about it for years. Susan looked at Sam and said, “What do you think they’ll do? Will Trixie have to sleep with them both?”

Sam shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess they’ll have to decide that.”

Susan rolled her eyes at Sam. He never committed to anything.

Trixie walked over to the dome. She climbed to the top and screamed, “I found the key!”

Everyone looked up at Trixie and gasped.

“Trixie, get down from there! Throw away the key, and don’t let them find it. You’re asking for trouble,” shouted Susan.

She started frantically packing hot dogs into their buns and placing them in a line on a plate. She searched for the ketchup bottle, finally finding it on the ground. Picking it up, she wiped off the dirt. Suddenly, Susan squirted Sam’s hot dog with red, juicy ketchup.

Story Three

Suddenly, Susan squirted Sam’s hot dog with red, juicy ketchup. Sam looked at Susan intently, picked up the mustard bottle, and squirted Susan’s hot dog with golden, spicy mustard.

Susan laughed. “Oh, Sam. You do make me smile. I love the way you squirt my hot dog with mustard. Hey, should we take our hot dogs into the house and find a bedroom?” She winked at Sam.

He threw down his hot dog, grabbed Susan, and kissed her, right in front of Jan and Bill.

Jan and Bill could not believe their spouses were smooching in front of everyone. They ran through the finish line at the exact same time. It made history, and everyone would talk about it for years.

Susan and Sam snuck off to the bedroom and locked the door. Jan and Bill stopped celebrating and got everyone’s attention.

Everyone started looking for the key. They searched high and low, far and wide.

Trixie climbed to the top of the dome and screamed, “I found the key!”

Everyone cheered, and Bill ran over to Trixie. “Throw it down!” he said.

Trixie tossed the key to Bill.

“You’re not going to do anything crazy, are you?” she asked.

“I’m going to kill them. They humiliated me.”

Bill ran toward the house with the key, and Jan ran after him, jumping on his back and sending him to the ground.

“Bill, I can’t let you do this. You’ll regret it.”

“Get off me, Jan!” Bill shouted, struggling beneath her.

Trixie ran over with a shovel and hit Bill over the head. He passed out—or died.

“Shit, is he dead?” Trixie asked.

“God, I hope not, Trix. Why’d you do that?” Jan asked.

Trixie replied, “Because I’m pregnant with Bill’s baby, and he said he wasn’t going to leave Susan for me.”